Fat or Phat?

Let's chat for a moment, shall we? I'm confident. I'm a strong, independent woman. I love speaking in public, taking on a challenge, debating and taking control. It's no secret for those that know me well that I've struggled with my body perception since I was young. It's my weakness. But the older I get the more I want to just love who I am and what I do really well.

I'm not athletic. However, I've made huge strides to be more active. I run races and compete in tris each year. I'm obsessed with Beach Body work outs like Insanity and Turbo Fire.

Still, when I feel like I'm in a good place, I get knocked down. And because this is an area that I'm not confident in - a knock down feels a lot like a knock out.

I had finally made the decision about two weeks ago to stop. Stop weighing myself. Stop obsessing. Stop. I decided that it's time to live and love my life and accept that I'm not a cheerleader and not little and not a model. But I am beautiful and healthy and full of life.

But I went to my annual doctor visit yesterday and like I knew he would - he said "By all measures, you're 10 pounds over weight." Not that he'd like to see me lose 10 pounds but that I'm over weight.

When I pushed him on the topic he brought up that I've gained 8 pounds since I was 18 years old. But that it's not just about the number on the scale. I have to consider how my clothes fit and how active I am etc etc. My problem is that he's only using THE NUMBER on the scale to tell me that I'm over weight. And what does that mean? What standard is being used to say that I'm over weight? What's normal?

I trust my doctor. I also don't want my happiness or health status to be based on a single number.

I'm completely lost as to what to do about this piece of feedback.